X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Not Recommended - no matter how fine Hugh's butt looked

In a word: Disappointing

Plot:  Backstory of Wolverine and Sabertooth.  Wolverine was born James Howlett in 1845.  Sabertooth was born Victor Creed, around the same time.  When Victor's father murders James' father, James' mutant powers manifest themselve. He grown bone "claws" from his hands, which he then uses to kill Victor's father.  With his dying breath, Victor's father proclaims that James' is, in fact, his son.  Victor and James run away.  They join the army.  Because of their regenerative powers - they are able to fight in just about every major war since the American Civil War.  After Victor, who enjoys the carnage a bit too much, lands them both in front of a firing squard (which, of course, doesn't kill them), they  are recruited by Colonel William Stryker to join an elite band of mutant mercenaries.  When the killing gets to be too much for James (now called Logan) - he walks away, finds himself a nice woman and settles down in Canada - working as a lumberjack (no word on whether he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars).  His past catches up with him when Vincent (now called Sabertooth) kills his girlfriend, Kayla Silverfox. Stryker lures Logan back by promising to give Logan a means to kill Sabertooth.  Stryker coats Logan's skeleton with the substance Adamantium - thereby making him vertually indestructable.  Logan changes his name to Wolverine. 

The rest of the movie is mostly Wolverine and Sabertooth fighting.  Deadpool and Gambit are thrown into the mix, as are a couple of plot twists that you see coming from a mile away - but its mostly Wolverine and Sabertooth fighting. 

Thoughts:  This movie is a mess.  The script is poorly written (and full of plotholes), characters aren't given names, the love story is cliche, the fight scenes are silly (and inconsequential, since you know going in that both Wolverine, Sabertooth and Stryker will live) and the CGI is really bad in some scenes (Wolverine's claws are terrible - they change shape and size throughout the whole film).  There is absolutely NO reason to introduce Gambit.  I'm sure they thought it would help bring in the fangirls (since Gambit is popular amongst us fangirls) - but he ends up being one of many interesting characters that are wasted.  Any of the other mercenary characters could have done his job (take Logan to the "island").  Gambit is such an interesting character in the comics - it's truly sad to see what they did with him.  Add Bolt, John Wraith and Deadpool to that list of wasted characters.  The only thing this movie has going to it is the acting of Hugh Jackman and Liev Schrieber.  They do the best with what they have - unfortunately what they have is a crap script. 

And PLEASE - for the love of all that is holy - STOP DIGITALLY DE-AGING PATRICK STEWART!  It's frightening!

SPOILERS:  The plotholes:  Victor's father is never named, so you have no idea why James starts calling himself Logan. It's never explained why Victor does not have the same last name as his father (this is nitpicky, but annoying nonetheless).   Logan, with his keen sense of smell,  doesn't pick up that the blood on Kayla isn't her own - plus he doesn't stick around long enough to bury her or have a funeral, just leaves her in the forest.  Why is there no blood in the tank when the needles full of Adamantium are drilled into Logan? How come Gamibit is so easily found - just walk into the first New Orleans bar you find and there he is!  Why didn't Stryker have Gambit taken out?  Why doesn't Scott remember Logan in X-men?  Yes, I know he is blindfolded, but I'm sure the other kids would  have mentioned the gorgeous guy with the shiny metal claws that saved them.  Wouldn't Kayla's sister know about Logan?  Why would Adamatium bullets remove Wolverine's memories?  If being hit in the brain with a bullet gives Wolverine memory loss - why didn't he lose any memories in any of the wars he fought in (I'm sure he was hit in the head at some point, they were firing machine guns directly at him).  

Nitpicky?  Maybe - but with a little care in the writing this could have been a really good film.  Instead it's Swiss cheese.  It also seems like the writers didn't bother to watch the other X-men movies, because the continuity errors are stupid.  Wolverine is such a terrific character - he deserved better.

If you like this, try watching:  The other X-men movies, Spiderman